Celebrations

So, today is my birthday, my first as Miranda—three months into transition.  I’m trying to sort my thoughts out, but it’s difficult process right now.

All my birthdays have been real—my age attests to that.  But this birthday seems more real than the others.  Perhaps it’s because I’m not just marking time anymore.  I don’t feel as if my life is ticking down to the inevitable bad, messed-up end.  This was a birthday to celebrate.  This was a birthday that has a future in it.

My life life has been set into motion…and not by some random, external circumstance.  This life, so unexpected, exists because Miranda exists.  It comes from within.

This life has hope.  This is truly a time of being born.

So, today I celebrate my birthday for the first time…as me.  That doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of the future.  Fear still exists.  Anxiety still exists.  Who knows what kind of emotional crash waits for me around  the next corner?

But this birthday has surprised me with one really great gift….

Resilience.

And for that, I celebrate.