Undrowned


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We Need This

Trans Cabal is a new website for trans people to, in the words of its editor, Sophia Banks:

“…share work, essays, articles, and other projects that celebrate the beauty of being trans and to also help educate the public about trans people and some of the amazing stuff we do.”

I follow Sophia on Twitter and that’s where I learned about the website. The heart and soul of Trans Cabal is a project co-created by Sophia and CN Lester, called Songs Of Ourselves, a place for trans people to celebrate all the beauty they find in their lives and bodies.  This is important.  Positive self-image is a daily struggle, especially in a society that still feeds the public with so many negative images of what it means to be trans.

The premise of Songs Of Ourselves is wonderfully simple: submit a photo of yourself that makes you feel joyous, or confident, or beautiful…a photo that makes you feel good, and explain why.

I’m happy to have submitted a self-portrait along with a few hundred words about the experience.  It was liberating to go public with my smile, something I never liked to do before I transitioned.  There are eleven stories and photos published so far, and I hope the number of contributors grows.  And for all trans people, I hope the future offers many more reasons to smile.


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Celebrations

So, today is my birthday, my first as Miranda—three months into transition.  I’m trying to sort my thoughts out, but it’s difficult process right now.

All my birthdays have been real—my age attests to that.  But this birthday seems more real than the others.  Perhaps it’s because I’m not just marking time anymore.  I don’t feel as if my life is ticking down to the inevitable bad, messed-up end.  This was a birthday to celebrate.  This was a birthday that has a future in it.

My life life has been set into motion…and not by some random, external circumstance.  This life, so unexpected, exists because Miranda exists.  It comes from within.

This life has hope.  This is truly a time of being born.

So, today I celebrate my birthday for the first time…as me.  That doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of the future.  Fear still exists.  Anxiety still exists.  Who knows what kind of emotional crash waits for me around  the next corner?

But this birthday has surprised me with one really great gift….

Resilience.

And for that, I celebrate.